MY SHAMEFUL FUCK-UP

There’s little room for fuck-up when it comes to IRONMAN race day fuel.

You consume insufficient calories per hour and you bonk or you consume too many calories per hour and your body can’t absorb them, making you feel nausea with potential GI distress.  Either way you’re fucked!  And you can kiss your race goal goodbye or literally send them to the shitter! 

That’s why you hear coaches preach:  “Never test new gear or fuel on race day!”  

Yet, even with this standard rule that I also preach to my own clients, I still managed to fuck it up.  Truth be told, I wasn’t going to share my fuck-up for two reasons:

First reason for not wanting to share is that overall, I am so fucking proud of my IRONMAN Mexico journey that I felt it was unnecessary to share my fuck-up.  I had plenty of adversity to overcome going into this race and I took the challenge like a motherfucker!  From having to travel alone (no sherpa) since Jimmie had to stay behind with our sick dog Eva, to building my own bike for the first time, to only having a 4-week training load since I registered last minute, and the emotional roller coaster of having three IRONMAN races cancel in 2020 due to COVID-19.

The second reason which is most probably the main reason for not wanting to share…. SHAME.  As an IRONMAN Coach, I should have known better and I did exactly what you’re not supposed to do.

So then why share two weeks post race? 

I believe through failure, we become a better version of who we want to be and there are great lessons that I learned from my fuck-up, and as a coach, I felt it was my duty to help others succeed and avoid making the same mistakes.

Therefore… here it goes my shameful fuck-up.

The day before race day, my emotions were running super high. Like crazy “loca” high.  I woke up crying that morning knowing exactly what I was going to put my body through in less than 24 hours and I was feeling super proud for making all the choices and taking action to get myself to Cozumel in order to race.

As I got myself out of bed, I did a short meditation and yoga to get myself grounded and centered.. in other words… get myself together before I began preparing my run and bike bags that needed to be drop off to T1 and T2 along with my bike. Once I dropped all of these off, I went back to my Airbnb to decompress and start preparing my last bags, bike and run special needs bag as well as all my bike fuel bottles that you take with you on race day.

As I was preparing my bike bottles, I started to panic about Cozumel’s heat and humidity and decided to double up my electrolyte concentration and on two bottles I fucking tripled that shit up.  I’ve never training with that concentration before in my life but that never crossed my mind as I was more focused on how to avoid cramping in the heat and humidity of Cozumel as my body was already adapted to cold weather back in Baltimore.  

Listen, I already knew heading into this race, that I had little margin for error on the bike leg.  In July, I had stopped biking when Eva, my dog got sick with a terminal diagnosis and a few days later I got the email that IRONMAN Maryland held in September was canceled.  When writing down my pros and cons to race in Cozumel on November 22, one of my cons was not having the proper IRONMAN bike fitness needed to race the race that I had dreamed for 2020.  I registered regardless 4-weeks before the race because inside of me, I needed to remember who the fuck I was even during a global pandemic and never giving up on my dreams.

The new modified goal was to make a big training load out of IRONMAN Mexico to set me up for 2021! The plan was to swim middle of the pack, lower my overall bike FTP, functional threshold power, in order to save my legs for the marathon, and have an amazing fun marathon.

Well, let me tell you, the swim was fucking badass! I had my fasted IRONMAN swim E-V-E-R! Swimming 2.4 miles in under an hour…. and … then ….came the bike leg.

I transitioned quickly from swim-to-bike and started my first lap out of three feeling really good, happy, and strong with my lowered FTP. As I was starting my second lap, I started to feel extremely nauseous but kept forcing my fuel bottles.

By mile 50 my body started rejecting the bottles.

I simply couldn’t process the extra concentration and I start executing plan B to save what I could. I stopped at the next aid station.  Dumped all my bottles minus my torpedo, which I dilute it with water.  I reloaded the bottles with plain water.  Grabbed a banana, shoved it down my throat, took advantage to stretch my back and legs, closed my eyes to feel me, told myself “you got this motherfucker” and got back on the bike.

Plan B was water, bananas, gels and straight up sodium.  I always pack gels for emergencies and a tube of base electrolyte salt in my jersey as so much can happen in 112 miles of the bike leg.

At mile 60, I stopped to grab my bike special needs bag, which I always pack a Coke can after having learned that trick from my 2nd IRONMAN.  I drank that fucker SO quickly, I could have been on a Coke commercial with the sound of satisfaction and all! The Coke quickly gave me the extra calories that I needed and helped me with my nausea and upset stomach.  I kept executing plan B until I entered T2 (transition bike-to-run).

In T2 I had a shot of pickle juice and applesauce and started my marathon with a neutral mind. I knew by then, too many things had already spiraled downward, settling me up for a hard marathon.

For those that are new to IRONMAN, normally, if you nail your fuel on the bike and have the proper bike fitness and race at your correct FTP, believe me, you should feel pretty good on the marathon.  But I knew this was not the case for me.

What got me through the marathon was mental toughness & mental calmness. 

There is a lot of talk about mental toughness for endurance sports but when you fuck-up or shit happens, your ability to remain clam, stay calm and quickly execute plan B is equally as important as mental toughness. If you can remember anything from this blog in your next race is your ability to “don’t be a victim and do something” as this quality in your personality may well save your next race….. or marriage, or friendship, or job… LIFE!

With all these challenges that I faced pre race day and race day, I still managed to PR 12:47 thanks to mental calmness, believing in myself, and never giving up on my dream. I hope that by me sharing my shameless fuck-up, it may help you get you closer to your 2021 goals and dreams!

Vamos que se puede! “Yes you can!”