If you are completely honest with self, on what sets your soul on fire AND you go after it, you will be walking a super thin line between making it and not making it.

That’s why many of us, chose to stay in dead end or toxic jobs or an unfulfilling marriage or never going after what we truly want in life for fear of failure and the potential disappointment.

To be fully transparent with you, I was keeping a bold-goal of mine a secret, for fear of failure!  I was even telling myself, that I didn’t really want this dream.  I was subconsciously suppressing my dream to avoid being disappointed by walking on that thin line… and the worst part, I was starting to believe my own lies. 

The issue when one suppresses dream(s), it will come back to hunt you.   You will wake up one day, a few years from today, regretting that you never went after it.  That you never went ALL IN or that you never even tried to go for it!   The “what if” .. the what if I tried… will hunt you for the rest of your life which reminded me of a pinterest image quote of a little girl walking away with fairly wings on her back and the quote saying “What if I fall?  Oh, but my darling what if you fly?”.

This quote reminded me that you owe it to yourself to try…. IF not, you will never know if you can fly!

This goal of mine that I have been so scared to share came up in conversation the other day.  Having recently just sold my dream business, it has opened an opportunity for myself to truly connect with what I want whole-heartedly in my life. I feel incredibly fortunate to be in this state of manifestation, a stage of creative fertility that I might never get in my lifetime again.  Its also terrifying as shit at the same time.

So the conversation started off about triathlons.  As you may know, I am pretty passionate about this sport. I was expressing how IRONMAN events empowers and inspires people from all shapes, sizes, and ages. Everybody that crosses the finish line of an IRONMAN, half (70.3 miles) or full (140.6 miles), is transformed right in front of you.  This sport builds this powerful shield of confidence in which you start to believe that anything is possible.   I see it all the time how triathlons changes and touches people, including my own friends and myself. Therefore I want to help others cross their own finish lines. I told her in my conversation that I want to be a triathlon coach and I went further….. and told her that along my journey to become a coach, one of my dreams is to qualify for KONA, but on the second breath, I took it back saying, but not sure if this is even a dream of mine.

The more we talked the more it was evident that I was being a fucking pussy about KONA.


I was suppressing my dream: qualify for KONA… as I didn’t want to let myeslf down if I didn’t qualify as its hard as shit to qualify.

For those that are not familiar with KONA, it is the most challenging one-day sporting event in the world.  To qualify for Kona World Championship, it’s considered to be the Holy Grail in the triathlon world.   Every year more than 80,000 athletes around the world compete for a slot in Kona by racing in a full IRONMAN (2.4 miles swim, 112 miles bike, 26.2 miles run) and 2,000 make it to the start line of IRONMAN World Championship on the Big Island of Hawai’i. Which by the way, Hawai’i is in my bucket list of places to visit. Big bold dream is to visit it when I race in KONA!

KONA is a beast and it’s my beast to conquer. I invite you to follow my journey as I document my road to KONA while becoming a coach to help others conquer their own dreams. You will see what it takes as you will watch me fail several times but I will get back up and try again. I have promised myself to fail with pride as I stumble and fall and get back up.

Failing does not make you a failure. Not trying again does.



Esther Collinetti