OK TO WANT WHAT YOU WANT

I am an adrenaline junkie.  I am always looking for a way to get high in life.  Not with drugs but with LIFE itself.

I love skydiving.  I love riding rollercoasters.  I love driving fast.  I love scuba diving.  They all give me an adrenaline rush.  The only issue, these are all quick fixes.  The feeling of high doesn’t last very long and I didn’t have to work hard for the feeling.

Exactly two years ago, October 30 2016, crossing the finish line of Ironman 140.6 was the first time in my life that I felt this absolute bliss of freedom.  Magic.  Like if I grew my very own set of wings.  Wings!  I was fucking high for days post race.  I was fucking high during the 6-month training to get my body to the start line.   I was fucking high during the race.

I have been searching ever since for other life experiences that give me this sense of magic.  I have been craving for more.  Wanting for more.   Dreaming for more.  It is not that I am dissatisfied with my present. 

It is knowing what you love and wanting more of that.

For the past five years I have been building a business all while staying true to myself as an athlete, a wife, a friend, daughter, sister and a creator.  I have completed 9 Ironman races both short and long distance while pouring my soul and heart into Baltimore’s first cycle studio.  I run the day-to-day operations, teaching classes, coaching new instructors, and more importantly creating the brand to make the business successful.   Last year in the beginning of 2017, my business partner and I opened our second spin studio in Baltimore. 

Opening the first studio was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

The first adrenaline rush came when I vocalized out loud my dream for the very first time at a lululemon ambassador gathering.  Soon after, it was like if the universe was working with me to get this dream into reality. I found a business partner with a strong financial background.  We were gold together. A year later, I quite my full time job as a research manager and started working full time for my dream. 

Opening the second studio was even harder than the first.  People kept telling me, opening a second studio will be easier. Bullshit. I kept waiting for the adrenaline rush.  I am still waiting. It never came. I was out of my comfort zone .  I had taken the bold risk.  Working hard.  Everything was aligning for that adrenaline rush….. yet something was missing. It took me a year to learn my lesson. 

I learned, you need to know your “NOs” as they amplify your “YESEs”. 

Opening the second studio was a main push from my business partner.  Remember, I found the best fitted financial business partner.  He does an amazing job at growing the business.  For the past year we have been feeling stuck. One wants to open more studios while the other wants to create stronger connections within the existing studios.  We both know what we want and we both want more of what we want. Nothing wrong with THAT. We will figure this out.  We always do. 

While figuring out the next step for our business, something BIG shifted within me this year.  My purpose in life has been stronger than ever before. 

This year I led my first ever Adventure Fitness Retreat.  This was a goal of mine that I had been aiming to conquer for quite some time.  I took the leap of faith and said HELL YES to adventure and joy.  Let me tell you, it wont be the last retreat that I lead.

That adrenaline rush that I felt when opening my first spin studio and when racing in endurance sports… is the same feeling I felt when leading the retreat. 

The retreat was intense physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  For days we worked as a community in pilling back the layers to reveal our darkness in order to regain our power back.  We connected as one tribe standing for each other’s breakthroughs and allowing for breakdowns.  We learned as a team what is possible on the other side of fear when you are “YOU Unleashed Living Forward”!

I came back from the retreat high.  High in life of what is possible when you are aligned with your highest intentions. You can call me an adrenaline junkie.  In truth I am hooked to the feeling of LIFE.  How do you want to feel? 

Fight for your dreams.  Fight for your freedom.   Find your wings.  WINGS!

Esther Collinetti